I am writing this after having packed up my room here at my first home stay. I am going to me second home stay family tomorrow. I had dinner with Georgiana tonight. I was feeling really down, and wasn't planning on having dinner because my stomach wasn't up for it, but after I lied and said I was going out, she insisted we eat together. I couldn't have been happier to be eating with someone else here.
It was a really simple dinner. She made couscous for me (she and Lucas shared mashed potatoes) and we split some hotdogs. It was really nice, but as usual the conversation made it even better. We talked about how we felt being foreigners in France. We talked about missing our families and what we do to get over it. I absolutely love Michele, my host mother, but she is just that. A mother. Georgina is a lot closer to my age and is in much more similar circumstances.
After dinner, I thanked her profusely, did the dishes and headed into my room. I am leaving tomorrow morning around 10AM, so I wanted to pack up before. I'm not sure how, like literally it defies the laws of physics, but the same amount of clothing I brought with me here fits into only two of my three suitcases. Throughout packing, I have been listening to songs on my computer mainly iTunes but every once in a while I've been listening to youtube.
I've found that there is a vicious cycle in my musical tastes. I have a playlist of songs that fit my mood completely, but they perpetuate that mood. So it is hard to stop feeling homesick when listening to these songs, yet there are no other songs that would please my ears. For me, music is where I can escape. I have an addictive personality. If I like a food, I can eat it every day for days on end (just ask my mom how many jamon and cheese sandwiches she made me when I was young). Same goes for a song. If it something I like, I need to listen to it as many times as possible.
After dinner tonight was the first time in a week I could listen to something other than the songs I have all week. I feel better now than I have in a long time. I think talking with Georgiana made me realize what I had to look forward to. On October 14, I am flying to Scotland with a good friend from UCSB to visit another good friend who was on exchange there last year. On October 27, Anni is coming to Paris from England to see Michael Bublé in concert. On November 24, Nick is coming to Paris and we are going to go somewhere awesome. And on December 18, I fly back to the US.
I really don't have that much to worry about. Everything works out in the end. And everything happens. Some argue for a reason. All I know is everything happens. If there is a reason for it, it is always and only visible in hind-sight.
For now, I am feeling optimistic and am looking forward to what is going to happen in these next few weeks.
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